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Stretching my writer legs: Let’s start a cult.

No, really. I’m bored. I’ve been stuck in this 8x12 for the past year with little more than a stack of to-do’s done by noon and so much useless time that my patience was just outweighed last Sunday. The rays of a glaring sun threaten to sweat me out of a room I can’t leave for another five hours because I’m on the clock and no tension rod is strong enough to withstand an elongated black-out curtain.

A cult seems like a pretty good idea right now… And I need to stretch my writer’s legs.

Do you want to be in a cult?

I’m escaping one to build another. Or at least I’m trying to.

What else are you supposed to do as a copywriter when you’re imprisoned by your 9-to-5? You Bob Ross a “happy little project,” use all the free stuff in Canva, and heavily rely on the skills you market as what you say is your real job (the non-paying copywriting gig) to put a smile on your friends’ faces on LinkedIn.

…and then you build a cult.

Or maybe that cult builds you?

This all started as a treat for my community, and now it’s grown to Write Wiser!

That’s the beauty of cultists, you know. They fester like a plague, assemble like a militia – only the cult leader can corral them into a hive mind. We are Legion, we move as one, we follow one, we are all one, and we live on a non-taxable compound. Too bad your brand can’t be like that.

A green and gold leaflet reads: HOW  TO SERVE YOUR   FLÜFF  -MEISTER   We know where you are.  1-800-FUR-PUFF     500 Litter Box Lane, Lyons, Nebraska 68038   More than 3 billion human helpers a year are abandoned by their Flüffmeisters.  YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ANOTHER NUMBER  The dead mouse is acknowledgement of your hard work. Keep going!   “  Petting  Grooming  Feeding  Not Petting  There is no such thing as a “bad human.” Through sweat, rigor and a strict regiment, our six month program will train you to be the best house cadet for your Flüffmeister.

Do you want your own cult?

It’s not that hard: conceptualize, game plan, start with a brochure, end with a landing page… Or hire me to write it for you. I’m just saying… I’m still stuck in this insufferable sauna of an office, and I have a lot of time to kill. Seems like a waste to not put that time to good use.

A green and gold leaflet decorated with cubism-style cat paintings reads ETERNAL SERVITUDE ISN’T EASY!  Fulfilling your orders is your sole duty as a human helper— that’s a lot of pressure!     Failure isn’t an option for our furry overlords. We’ll make sure it isn’t one for you, too!   SIGN UP TODAY  Our step-by-step training program covers litter box hospitality, gourmet wet food, and knowing when your presence is welcomed.    Clients see a 1000%  purr increase!   Praise the paw prints!

Want to see more off-the-wall content and copy from Amara Murphy? Find her on LinkedIn!



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